


back in the days.

by jeonginks



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Bittersweet, Bittersweet Ending, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Romantic?, kind of, you and felix are deskmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-08-11 22:56:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20161495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeonginks/pseuds/jeonginks
Summary: seems like you two really liked each other. if only one of you had mustered up the courage to do something about it.





	back in the days.

** _one._ **

“Fuck.”

Felix’s deep laughter could be heard clearly for you, even though he was letting his voice out on a class-in-session appropriate volume. He looked over at you—your face flushed red from your recently finished presentation, strings of silent curses muffled by your forearm as you desperately buried your head into the back of your elbow.

God, you really hated public speaking.

Seeing your flustered state, and assuming you wouldn’t quite want anyone’s attention on you, he grabbed his sweater and threw it on top of your head, covering your face up perfectly.

“I think you did fine. Just a little wobbly with your points and a little too shaky on the eyes,” he commented, reaching out for the top of your head before he slowly patted you comfortingly. “But overall you did fine.”

“I’m never doing this again. I’d rather sell my soul to Lucifer than do another presentation,” you grumbled, peeking your eyes out to look at the next speaker calmly presenting his idea. “At least Lucifer is hot. I like Lucifer”

Felix laughed again, “Who said that?”

“Fanfic writers,” you replied.

Felix rolled his eyes, but you weren’t able to see him.

Now that you think back to it, there are several things you realize you missed: (a) Felix’s voice was abnormally soft. Not deep but soft and soothing, (b) he smelt of fruit, like a very strong passion fruit tea. Like spring and summer, and © he spent the whole class gently ruffling your hair until you told him you were fine. Not once did he complain having to comfort you that way, and not once did you ask him to do it.

** _two._ **

Covering your belly as if adding pressure to it could cease the hunger a little, you groaned when you felt it rumble again.

“What’s wrong with you?” Felix asked, side-eyeing you briefly as he played with the pencil in his hand.

“I am hungry, which is weird because I can usually handle not eating until lunch,” you answered in an annoyance not meant for him to take, “I guess I’m just extra hungry today.”

“Didn’t you eat breakfast?” He asked, dropping his pencil as he turned fully to you, his brows furrowed in question. He looked almost mad for some reason.

You laughed, “I never eat breakfast, Felix. I’d rather take five minutes more sleep.”

He rolled his eyes, a scoff leaving his lips, “You are so goddamn lazy.”

The next day, Felix arrived at school with a half-finished chocolate bread he brought from the convenient store on his way to school.

“Do you want the rest? I am full,” he said, throwing the bread on your desk.

You grimaced, “Did you eat from it?”

Felix shook his head, “No, I peel my bread.”

You gladly accepted it then.

And Felix was full the next day, and the day after, and the day after too. Each day with a piece of unfinished bread.

He also changed his habit of eating a bread whole.

** _three._ **

The class went into a bit of a commotion when the teacher gave everyone about five minutes of free time to pair themselves up with someone to do the upcoming project.

“Do you want to be partners?” You asked, leaning over to him.

Felix raised his eyebrows playfully, glancing down at you, who was staring back up at him with round, anticipating eyes. With a bit of a displeased look, he pulled a face at you and shook his head, “No.”

“What? Why?” You whined out, sitting up straight with a look of betrayal. 

“I don’t want you to drag my grade down,” he said in feigned annoyance, “You can’t even do your own homework. You always had to copy mine in the morning, I really don’t need that.”

You pouted a little, “That is just me with homework! I actually know the materials, Felix! I promise I am going to be the best project partner you’ve ever had!”

“I already paired up with Jisung though,” he only told you, pointing at the other boy from across the room, who smiled awkwardly at you when you flashed him a slight glare.

You ended up pairing with someone named Hyunjin later, and to be frank, you weren’t complaining much about it. Hyunjin was smart, responsible, and extremely charming. 

Felix didn’t speak to you much the day you accepted Hyunjin’s offer, and he found himself clenching his fists a little when you loudly made plans with Hyunjin to meet up at each other’s home for the project.

It was after graduating when you realized, finally, Felix was jealous. 

** _four._ **

You were sick one time. Felix happened to text you nearing the end of school, asking for you home address so he could head over and give you all the school materials.

**You:** just ask Hyunjin to hand it to me. 

**Felix: **why

**You:** he lives near my home and he knows where I live. We had a project last time.

**Felix: **just send me your address. i’m not talking to him.

**Felix:** come on, i have soccer practice. i have to be quick.

You caved in, at last, quickly typing in your address and dropping the phone so you could rest. Felix arrived a couple hours later, softly knocking and slowly opening the door to your room.

Your face was red and there was a gel sheet on your head. Seeing him, you quickly pointed over to your desk where a box of new gel sheet was located. Felix moved over, setting down all your school things before fishing one out and heading over to sit on the edge of your bed.

“You look disgusting,” he pointed out, reaching over to your forehead so he could peel away the old one and stick the new on carefully to your head. His gaze hardened when you couldn’t even bring yourself to retort to him. 

When you laid back down on the bed, Felix glanced at you for a moment before he spoke, “I’ve got the notes we took today in the files. And I’ll let you copy my homework answers when you get back, okay?”

“Felix…” Your voice was weak, but you managed when you saw him turn around to leave. Your mind processed it slower but Felix immediately turned, his eyebrows raised and his concerned eyes waiting for you to request something.

“Can you stay?”

Felix watched you for a little before he spoke, “What? So I can get sick too?” He left after saying that.

You fell asleep later then, not quite caring. But your mother told you after you got better, that Felix went outside to tell his friend he would be absent for soccer practice, and he spent the whole time in your room.

She had asked him, “(Name)’s sleeping, why don’t you go home now?”

He said he was afraid you’d feel lonely in your sleep, so if he has the time to stay, he would.

** _five._ **

It was almost Halloween. The school, in the spirit of this playful holiday, holds a party each time for students to have fun. You were appointed to help draw the banner for the event so you had to stay after school for the whole week.

“You had soccer practice again?” You asked when Felix walked into the classroom, looking at you with his shoulder leaning against the door frame.

He nodded, “Yeah, the tournament is coming up.”

You made a knowing sound, packing up your things, “What are you doing here then? Go home.”

He shrugged, pushing himself off the door so he could walk back into the classroom. He made his way over to you and reached his hand into the drawer of his desk, pulling out a pencil case, “I left this here.”

“You left that here yesterday, Felix,” you deadpanned.

“I am forgetful,” he retorted nonchalantly, “Anyway, are you going to dress up as anything for the Halloween party?”

You laughed with a shake of your head, “Probably not. What about you? Are you gonna dress up as anything? Maybe vampires?”

He rolled his eyes at you, “No way, I have something else in mind already.”

“What is it?”

“Lucifer.”

** _six._ **

You promised Felix you would go watch the tournament for him but you had forgotten about it until your friends reminded you the next day, and boy, he was angry.

He did his best to show it, too. He gave you the silent treatment, the cold shoulder. He didn’t even try to look at you, you had been completely invisible to him for the past two days.

“Felix,” you called to receive no response. For a moment, your emotions overwhelmed you as you watched him pack up his school bag. You felt betrayed and unfairly treated. It was just a soccer tournament, what did he have to get so mad for?

You huffed, sucking in the gentle tears, “Fine! If you’re going to hate me then I hate you too.” You grabbed your school bag and stomped out of the classroom.

He never told you, you got this through a friend. After you told him you hated him, he almost looked like he was about to cry.

** _seven._ **

You baked Felix cookies. The war of silence really wasn’t bringing the conflict anywhere, it was just making everything revolve around you both in circles. And the thing was, you really needed to talk to Felix because it is humanly impossible to ignore your deskmate for the rest of the year. Also because you missed the playful, carefree relationship you two used to have.

It was after school when you held him back, tugging at the bottom of his sleeve so he couldn’t ignore you and leave. When Felix turned around, you shoved him the cookies.

“Here, this is for not making it to the tournament,” you grumbled, “Please don’t be mad at me anymore, Lix.”

_Lix._

People tried to call him by that nickname after hearing you call him that, but he never responded to them. But to you, he did.

You didn’t think too much about it.

** _eight._ **

You asked him if the cookies were alright.

Felix gave you a grimace, a really irritating one where you just wanted to smack his face and pull his cheeks violently. He shook his head, “I don’t like it at all. And what is it that you were trying to make?”

“That is a smiley face, Lix!”

“Remind me to never ask you about artsy things,” he nodded, ignoring your protest.

You found out after a while, through Jisung, that Felix took just one bite of the cookie, then he wrapped it in plastic paper and he kept it on the display counter in the kitchen.

No one dared to touch it. He had to keep it.

** _nine._ **

It was PE lesson. The teachers decided it would be a fun activity to play a game of dodge ball.

You were the first one to get eliminated. Most of your classmates simply laughed at the way the ball comically hit the top of your head, and for the second time, you got kicked out for getting brutally hit in the leg.

Your shoulder slumped as you glared at the classmate, who laughed apologetically at you in return. Felix watched as you left the arena to sit on the sideline, then he headed over to grab the ball rolling around the floor.

He took the ball quite many times, you saw, and the certain classmate got hit quite many times too.

He got kicked out for constantly targetting the same person soon enough, and he headed over to sit down next to you. Looking over at him, a frown was etched on your face as you asked him, “Why did you keep hitting him? They’re on your time, you blind bat.”

Felix glared at the boy once again before he glanced over at you. You suppressed the slight gasp that wanted to bubble up your throat when you saw how intense his eyes were. 

“I just don’t like him. Nothing you need to be concerned about.”

Please. It had everything to do with you.

_ **ten.** _

It was your birthday.

“Do you have anything to give me? A present of gratitude for putting up with you for so long?” You asked, smiling up at him.

Felix rolled his eyes at you, “Happy birthday.”

“That’s it? I grace you with my presence and all I get is a lousy happy birthday,” you said, faking disappointment as you turned away from him. 

He huffed, “What do you want? Do you want a kiss?”

You immediately stopped smiling, your arms falling to your side in shock at his words. When he realized your flustered state, Felix only smiled at you playfully as he leaned close to you an appropriate amount.

“No way, this can’t be it,” he said, “Do you like me?”

You pushed his face away with your hand, “Ugh, leave.”

“I’m not a leaf, (Name), I am Lee Felix.”

Felix didn’t give you the present he prepared at the end of the day. He was suddenly feeling a little shy about indicating to you that he did, in fact, marked down your birthday.

_ **eleven.** _

You asked him for his lead pencil since you left your pencil case on your desk.

Felix looked over at you, a small frown on his face. Words of very gently insulting reminders hung off his lips as he shifted through his pencil case for a spare pencil. After a moment of searching, he ended up handing you the one he was using instead.

“How could you even forget?” He asked, “That is so stupid.”

You chuckled lightly, “Sorry, I’ll treat you boba after school?”

Felix grumbled, “I’ll think about it. Not a very big boba person, you know?”

You took his head with a small nod, telling him the offer will be up until tomorrow. Felix reached into the case and pulled out another lead pencil then, returning back to paying attention to the class.

He kept shaking his lead pencil that day like it was broken or something.

_ **twelve.** _

You and Felix witnessed the first snowfall together during Winter. The class was still in session so it created a bit of commotion when a student suddenly pointed out that it was snowing outside.

“Lix, look,” you pointed, hitting his shoulder as he leaned over his desk to look better at the falling snow.

Felix nodded, groaning slightly, “I know, I am looking. Calm down, it’s just the snowfall.”

“It’s the first one this Winter, Lix,” you said, returning back to your seat and looking at him. A grin graced your lips as you spoke them, “Do you know what that means?”

“What?”

“People who witness their first snowfall with someone they like will gain true love,” you said excitedly.

He breathed out a chuckle sardonically, raising his eyebrows in disbelief. “That’s bad, does it mean we’re gonna start liking each other? That is a little pathetic of me, don’t you think?”

Your shoulders slumped, annoyed. Turning to look around the class, you returned your attention to him, “Not me, you idiot. The whole class is here, why do you have to pick on me?”

Because you said it has to be someone they like.

Felix shrugged, “No reason.”

** _thirteen._ **

The class was empty. Everyone had already packed up everything from their locker and left to enjoy the start of their Chrismas break after the Chrismas party, all except for you. You fumbled with your messy locker, finally regretting all those times you chose to not tidy it up despite Felix’s consistent nagging.

“Wait, wait!” You called out when Felix turned over to the door to leave, desperately shoving your things into your school bag. “Don’t make me walk in the halls alone, Lix, just wait for me a second!” 

He popped his head into the dark classroom, looking outside at the dark sky and clicking his tongue. He looked over at you, annoyed, “I want to go home, (Name), can you be quick?”

“I’m trying! The books won’t fit!” You exclaimed, pulling things out of your backpack again to try and rearrange your things.

Felix rolled his eyes then, starting to count down the second before he leaves you in the dimly-lit school. You were getting more and more anxious with each number he called, feeling tears rushing up to your eyes. 

When he finished counting, he breathed out a defeated sigh when he saw that you were trying to carry all your textbooks in your hands. He walked over to your side, taking a few of them off your arms and finally noticing your teary eyes at such a close distance.

“Are you afraid of the dark?” He asked curiously.

“Yes,” you replied, sticking close to him as you two turned off the classroom lights and headed to the stairs.

Felix used one hand to lift up your heavy textbook that day, the other one he kept holding up the flashlight equipped on his phone so you could see better.

_ **fourteen.** _

Caps were thrown after the graduation ceremony. In the midst of students trying to pick their caps up from the ground, Felix turned to you with an unreadable expression on his face.

You turned to him, smiling proudly, but there was a hint of nostalgic remorse within your chest that kept reminding you: this was it. Your lives as deskmate were finally over.

“This is the last time I’m going to be right next to you,” he muttered.

You nodded, “I know.”

“Give me a hug, (Name),” he said, opening his arms. 

You dove in quickly, embracing him tightly. This was the last time. It was quite a long hug.

_ **fifteen.** _

You two sat next to each other on chairs far smaller than your figures. You were leaning on a desk that felt all too familiar, looking at a sight that sparked up nothing of nostalgia for you.

Felix laughed as he glanced at you, remembering how you always laid on the desk like that.

“Rumor has it you were in love with me back then,” you said, smiling up at him, “Is it true?”

Felix blinked at you, his hair bouncing slightly as he nodded without any hint of shame or shyness. “Yeah, I didn’t make it too obvious though,” he said, “Did you know I was?”

You sucked in a breath, your eyes squinting in thoughts before you shook your head, “Not really. I just thought we were really close friends.”

Felix laughed, looking down on his lap before he turned his head back to you, “Wanna go get a drink?”

You waited for a while, carefully looking at him for any signals but only found out that he was as good as hiding his romantic feelings as he did back in high school. Either way, you nodded and stood up, walking over to the door.

“Are you still afraid of the dark? Please tell me you’re not.” 

“Sorry to disappoint you, Lix,” you said.

He sighed, but it wasn’t anything negative. Just reminiscent.

“I am going to get you a night light for your next birthday.”

But for now, he uses his phone’s flashlight, with one hand.

The other is reserved for you.


End file.
